For Parents of Teens | DrinkSense

DrinkSense for Parents of Teens

Start the responsible drinking conversation and breakthrough to your teen.

Parents often think they’re getting through to their teens when they talk about responsible drinking, but most times teens are not getting the message. Getting the message through is important, there are many risks involved with underage drinking, besides just the legal repercussions. It’s our goal to ensure teens have all the facts to make smart and informed choices.

If you are thinking about talking to your children about alcohol, good for you. Children can have no better help than a parent who thinks ahead, takes the time to be informed and uses their knowledge to help their children make informed choices. When alcohol does come into their lives, children are then prepared to make the healthy choices.

Clear rules are helpful, but good communication in which your child feels comfortable and well understood is equally important.

How to talk to your kids about drinking

Youth say that their parents and family members are a big influence in significant life decisions. Start the conversation with your kids and help them make informed decisions.

For example, start with some celebrity gossip. Celebrities are a gold mine for terrible life choices (remember Brittany in 2007? Because she probably doesn’t). You’re talking about it already, so discuss how your child feels when their idols abuse alcohol or drugs.

Whatever their age, it’s never too early or too late to start talking. We know that talking about alcohol and drinking is sometimes not easy but getting the conversation started is the first step.

If you’re not talking to your kids about alcohol who is?

Preschoolers (age 4 and under)

Kids this age absorb a lot of new information as they watch the world around them (sometimes more than we want them to!). Spend quality time with your preschooler to create an environment where your child will feel comfortable coming to you to ask questions or discuss their feelings, ideas and opinions. If you set a good example for your child from an early age, the more likely they are to drink responsibly in the future.

School-Aged Children (ages 5-9)

At this age, children learn about alcohol from other children and from TV, movies and what they see in real life. Talk to them about what they’ve seen and heard and ask them to think critically. Children this age also often enjoy learning about how the body works so try teaching them about the effects of alcohol on the human body.

Don’t be scary, be factual. Explain to your child that even though there can be negative consequences to consuming alcohol; drinking responsibly is not dangerous for adults. You don’t want your child to think you’re doing something wrong or to worry about your health. The important thing for your child to understand is that they shouldn’t drink and adults who choose to drink should do so responsibly.

Preteens (ages 10-12)

Preteens are doing more things on their own, including choosing their own friends who will have influence with them.

Know your child’s friends and meet their parents when possible
Be aware of where your child is and who they’re with
Set clear house rules regarding alcohol and drinking, whether in the home or outside of it

At this age, children begin to understand the concept of actions and consequences. Discuss things like:

Laws regarding alcohol – age limits, misuse, impaired driving
Responsible drinking – including parental expectations and moderation
Family history if it involves alcoholism
More detailed effects of alcohol use on the body

Teens (ages 13-17)

Opportunities to try alcohol are increasingly present as teens get older. Stay involved in your child’s life and be aware of who they are with and what they are doing.

Re-establish house rules and stick to them
Have family dinners that encourage open conversation
Answer your teen’s questions honestly

When your teen wants to invite friends over:

Be clear that house rules extend to guests
Confirm who they plan to invite and tell them to stick to the agreed-upon guest list
Encourage them to invite a responsible friend to act as the party’s “co-host” to provide support if needed
Plan activities beforehand. Ask guests not to bring alcohol
Serve food and non-alcoholic beverages
Let your child know they can contact you for help if necessary
Have your teen keep you informed of their plans
Check in regularly, but not obsessively

Learn more about Alcohol and Adolescents

18+

Young adults are more likely than older adults to consume alcohol in risky or dangerous ways, without considering short- or long-term consequences. Even though the decision to drink alcohol is ultimately theirs when they turn 18, you are still a big influence in their life.

Encourage your child to consume alcohol responsibly
Be involved in their life, even if they aren’t at home
Encourage them to watch out for their friends who have been drinking
Encourage your child to plan ahead if drinking. Suggest a designated driver, taking a taxi or bus, or sleeping at a friend’s. Never tolerate impaired driving
Remind them to eat before they go out and while they’re drinking
Encourage them to pace themselves, to be aware of their limits, and to keep track of how many drinks they consume
Tell them to never leave their drinks unattended
Remind them to keep their cell phones fully charged in case they need to call or text you
Avoid pre-event drinking

Start the conversation

The more you talk about alcohol, the more your child will understand the effects of their decisions and will be comfortable talking about drinking with you. Try to keep discussions in the present tense and talk about short-term consequences and encourage your child to share with you what they already know, or think they know, about alcohol. Don’t just talk about the negative physical effects – talk about emotional and social effects of alcohol consumption and if you’re comfortable maybe even share some (horror) stories of your own.

It might be awkward at first but you can power through! The best way is to approach it like a conversation, not a lecture. Try to let it come up organically and seize opportunities when you can, such as:

At the dinner table

You’re all gathered around eating and drinking, so why not talk about it? This is a good place to chat about the importance of eating while drinking and why that glass of wine won’t get you “wasted” because you’re sipping slowly and eating at the same time.

Talk to your kids about alcohol at the restaurant

At a restaurant

Again, you’re gathered around eating and drinking, so opportunity has risen. This time though, you drove here and you’re drinking a beer. Take the time to explain that this isn’t irresponsible as long as you’re within your limits and respecting the law.

Talk to your kids about alcohol while watching television

Watching entertainment

Drinking in TV shows and movies is common and typically ends in the characters making bad choices. Point out that alcohol affects judgement and behaviour. So now the cool teen heartthrob has lost his one true love! All because of the booze and maybe even a little peer pressure.

Learn more on how to Talk to Your Children About Alcohol